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Found on the internet . . . 


 

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Juggling your way out

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 A Texas State trooper pulled a car over on I-35 about 2 miles south of Waco, Texas. When the trooper asked the driver why he was speeding, the driver said he was a Magician and Juggler and was on his way to Austin, Texas to do a show for the Shrine Circus. He didn't want to be late. The trooper told the driver he was fascinated by juggling and said if the driver would do a little juggling for him, then he wouldn't give him a ticket. He told the trooper he had sent his equipment ahead and had nothing to juggle. The trooper said he had some flares in the trunk and asked if he could juggle them. The juggler said he could, so the trooper got 5 flares, lit them and handed them to him. While the man was juggling, a car pulled in behind the State Trooper's car. A drunken good old boy from central Texas got out, watched the performance, then went over to the Trooper's car, opened the rear door and got in. The trooper observed him and went over to the State car, opened the door...
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The shooter guy and the diaper

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 Driving home from pre-school, I asked my son, who was 4 years old at the time, what he learned today. He began relating the story of the "shooter guy." The shooter guy shoots people with darts. So I asked why? . . .  Well, the shooter guy shoots people so they get sick and fall in love. It was then I realized that he was talking about Cupid. After discussing Cupid and Valentines day, my son says, "I still don't know why he has to wear a diaper."
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"Could I ask you to pull forward . . . "

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 When driving through one of my favorite fast-food restaurants, I really hate hearing the dreaded "please pull forward, and we'll have your food right out to you." When I pull forward, I can usually no longer see what's going on. Did they forget about me? What's so difficult about my order? I usually order a numbered combo straight off the menu with no changes. Now, I don't have any scientific proof to back this up, but I would venture to say that my order is wrong almost every time I have to pull up. If it's wrong, I have to exit the car now, and go inside versus just letting them know at the window. So I recommend the next time you're asked to pull up, just respond, "No thanks. That's ok, I'm good right here," and watch the reaction.
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